Monday, March 28, 2011

Water Works

I have always been a bit of a crier. Certain people in my life are rolling their eyes right now thinking, "a bit?"

Commercials, movies, songs, take your pick. If you see me in the greeting card aisle approach with caution. I'm probably holding my breath and swallowing down the lump in my throat. Oh and that Folgers Christmas commercial with the brother and sister... Gives me the creeps and makes me cry. A more common example, Toy Story 3. After watching that movie Tony left me sitting in a salty puddle on the couch, squeaking "Why Andy? Why did you have to grooow uup?"

Events in which it would be exceedingly appropriate to shed a tear, such as a funeral or dire emergency of some sort, what do I do? I cry AND I laugh. Hysterical, nervous, snorting laughter. I'm sorry! It's an anxiety-induced response that I can't control. In the times when I can't choke down the giggles, I can usually mask it as sobbing with a strategically placed hand or tissue over the mouth. But seriously, there are some underlying issues here. I should probably have that looked at.

Parenthood has made the crying at the drop of a hat so much worse. In the first 6 months it was biological. I was just crying out the hormones like they were toxins. But now that things have settled in that respect, I'm starting to get the message... This is just how it's going to be now.

When I watch 'Intervention' from here on out I'm going to bawl my eyes out as the parents beg and plead and pray for their grown, addicted children to seek help. On the Amazing Race the other night, a mom watched her deaf 20-something year old son struggle repeatedly with a challenge, told him "You can do this," and I couldn't keep it together. And forget the country music station. That shit can just go right to hell.

It's like all emotions have doubled. For 40 weeks I grew this other piece of me, this vulnerable beating heart, and now I just let it walk around, prone to whatever perils and passions the world has in store. And it's my job to protect him and guide him and sometimes, to sit back and watch him struggle. I don't know if I'm fit for this.

Okay. I can do this.

Now I get what all those tissues are about. My husband. Always looking for a deal and planning ahead.


Jaclyn said...

That's why he got all the tissues! HA! You are too funny :) I cry over everything too. I have no idea what is wrong with me. This is my quote after my cries "Why do I cry over everything?" Tony just shrugs and says "You're cute." I hate it though. Yup, I can imagine that having a child would make this crying condition worse. Yikes.

Jeannie said...

omg, Sarah, why are we the same person? lol! That folgers commercial had me in tears every time! And since L was born, I really, really can't handle anything sad or sappy (esp. related to babies/kids/parents). As I've told you, I cry every time I read your blog! ;-)

Sarah said...

Jac - Remember that time we cried in the kitchen when you came home for Des's bday? HA! Jeannie - I knew you'd be able to relate!

Jaclyn said...

HAHA! Oh yes I do :*) And didn't my brother walk in and was like "Seriously, you girls!!" hahahaha!

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