Nursery

Finally, a post going back to the original theme of the blog! The house. Obviously with the new addition on the way we had to think about where to put him. It was a no brainer to turn the office next to our bedroom into the nursery. Even though Desmond is now 3 months old, it's still not totally finished. I would like to paint something on the wall next to his crib, need some kind of toy box in there, a side table for the rocker, among other things. But it does the job. And it is now my favorite room in the house. It feels warm and fun and cozy. Lots of space to sit on the floor and play or to walk around rocking the baby to sleep. I definitely don't mind the hours I have to spend in there!

See the 'Before' pics in this previous entry.

Now:

Bed in the room for those early weeks when he was up every couple hours during the night. Although it was rarely used because he was sleeping in our room at that point, we still like it there just in case.


The rocker, on the other hand, is used all the time. Bookcases were a Craigslist find for super cheap.


This dresser/changing table was a hand-me-down from Tony's uncle. It was mostly unfinished with the drawers painted green. We painted it bright white and swapped the handles for some glass knobs that I LOVE.


I bought these prints off of Etsy before Desmond was even conceived.


Sweater Desmond wore home from the hospital, crocheted by my mother.


Blanket over the crib also crocheted by my mom. She's so talented.


Crib, a hand-me-down from my older sister. The bedding is blue, green, and brown fish. We had a matching mobile, but Des loved this one that was on his bassinet.


Closer look at the bedding, and the adorable thumb-sucker who sleeps in it.

So there it is, finally. Simple and cute.

Things I Thought I Knew

... but really, I had no idea. These are issues every new parent is warned about, but never truly understands until they are in the thick of it.

- The worry
News flash: Mom's worry. Story at 11! What I didn't realize is that the worry is CONSTANT. I even figured out a way to worry in my sleep, if that's possible. It's when I'm holding him, when he's napping, and when someone else has him. I worry about him bothering other people when he's fussy, and I worry about why he's fussy. Spitting up too much, not enough poops today, his head is too flat. Daycare, crawling, sticking his finger in a socket. First day of school, teen bullying, can't afford college. Anything, everything, and all at once. The best thing to do is to not stifle the worry, yet don't let it become all-consuming. Acknowledge it, accept it, and move on. And if it gets too much just punch it in the face. BAM!

- The laundry
I'm a freak of nature and actually enjoy doing laundry. I find it relaxing. That hasn't changed. But the drastic increase in volume is shocking, and the fact that it's caused by the addition of one tiny person to a household. Pre-baby, I would do 2-3 loads of laundry once every week or two. Nowadays I do about 3-5 loads every few days. It's due to the variety of baby fluids that we're all swimming in, and my newfound obsessive need to remove any dust and cat hair from all linens. Cuz OMG baby's hand is slightly reddish, it's a rash, he just touched that blanket, WASH IT! (See also: The worry)

- The importance of naps

I've finally sorta figured out Des's nap routine (which will now change tomorrow, I'm sure). They say for the first 4 months or so, they don't really have schedules. But Des is a great sleeper at night and has a pretty consistent nap schedule during the day. Unfortunately this week he developed a slight cough that was making it hard for him to stay asleep. So he kept missing or cutting short his long nap. Which made the rest of the day a nightmare for both of us. He wanted to be held constantly, so I paced the house carrying this 15 pound whining, whimpering mush in my arms for hours. As a result, I have scheduled a massage for this weekend. Momma needs it! And Desi needs his naps. Lesson learned.

- The love
The first few weeks I was in shock at this little squirmy, squeeling alien that appeared. I loved him to pieces, but it was a survival mission at that point. I don't know exactly when it happened, but now I can't stop kissing every inch of him. Tony pretends to speak for him, "Moooom, stoooop you're embarrassing meeee." But I can't help it. All his squeeks and smells and fluids... I can't get enough. He's like a drug. And then there's the smiles and coos... Ugh, my heart can't take it. It's all Desmond, my life, my love.


I don't even care how unflattering this photo of me is, that's how much I love him.

Note: Another Braintree baby is on the way! Congratulations to our friends Jeannie and Chris who are expecting their first in October! So so excited for you guys. :-)

Back to Work

The countdown to my return to work has begun. 13 days. Time to face reality. EPIC SIGH...

Being a working mom was always the plan. Financially, it's a necessity right now. We have a mortgage, 2 vehicles, among the many other expenses that come with being homeowners and new parents. We also enjoy taking vacations every year, a lifestyle we would love to maintain. And aside from the financial needs, I just never pictured myself as a stay at home mom. The infinite patience and 24/7 nurturing that is required of that job are qualities I have always lacked, admittedly.

I don't know if I just never gave myself enough credit, or if I grew a whole new side to my personality over the past 11 weeks, or if I'm just feeling the standard guilt of a new mom returning to work... or all of the above? But now I want nothing more than to stay home with my son. When I consider any other option my heart aches, like a gaping hole in my chest that I have to cover with my hands or my whole self will be sucked down into it. (Dramatic, huh? Not nearly dramatic enough, to be honest.)

This was not the case at week 4 or 5. At that time, I would wake up each morning, look at Desmond anxiously and think, "I will do my best to keep you alive today." Survival mode. For both of us. And then I'd feed him a few times, he'd nap here and there, we'd go for a walk, and 'Wow it's 5:00 and daddy's home? We did it, Des! We are alive and fed and sorta clean and mostly sane!' Rinse and repeat.

Now I wake up each morning, look at Desi and think, "What are we gonna do today, best buddy? I know! Let's eat and take naps and maybe go for a walk!" On big days we go to Target or to the mall. There's a general simple routine. Yet every day is exciting and fun and happy. There is nothing I lack. My heart is full, overflowing even. And then daddy gets home and the day just gets better! Life is amazing.

Two more weeks of this. I will soak in every second.

Just as I've adjusted to Life As Mom, I will adjust to working again. It may take several weeks and many tears, but I'll get there. And I'll wake up each morning thinking, "Today I will do what's best for our family." I hope I can.


I helped make this guy. I can do anything.