One recent afternoon I was cuddling with Des on the couch as he drank his milk from a sippy cup, still groggy from his nap. When I heard something in the back... Neely in his cat box, maybe. Nah, it was different than that. Not so much scratching, but scurrying. Oh god. It was definitely scurrying, frantic and desperate.
"Tony! Neely's doing something."
That old familiar sound. There was a hunt in the house. Whether it was successful or not I would not know, because if you haven't learned by now, my eyes shut tight as soon as I recognize what's going on.
Tony quickly made his way to the back room as Des and I waited impatiently on the couch, our feet up off the floor. I was a little more used to this now, so I wasn't heading for zee hillz just yet. I knew the drill.
But then Tony came back sooner than expected, empty hands and an odd look on his face.
"Oh god, what is it? Is something dead? Loose in the house? WHAT??"
"It's a bird."
"There's a bird in the closet. You guys should go upstairs."
I grabbed Des and ran him upstairs. Of course there's a bird! Because if there's anything I hate worse than a mouse in my home, it's a goddamn bird ready to flap its wings in my hair and peck my eyes out and poop down my neck. I could think of only one thing worse (starts with B, ends with AT), and lemme just do the sign of the cross right now, because if that ever happens this house just might implode Poltergeist-style.
We waited it out in the bedroom. Who knows how long this would be. I knew Tony didn't have much of a plan. Why would he? Who prepares for this?
About 5 minutes later, Tony hollered upstairs, "It's okay now." I hesitantly opened our bedroom door to see Tony with the hood of his sweatshirt cinched tight around his face, wearing mismatched gloves and carrying a broom. My hero!
He walked me through what he did to get the thing out. To sum up, he pretty much just opened the back door and the bird flew out. My hubby has mad skills yo. He did manage to get a photo of that sucker, hiding out in the unfinished ceiling of our back room closet:
I know it's a little Sasquatch-esque, but do you see the profile? Way in the back? And the curtain to the left was what Neely was attempting to climb with his claws in order to get to it.
That bird is lucky it has wings.