... but really, I had no idea. These are issues every new parent is warned about, but never truly understands until they are in the thick of it.
- The worry
News flash: Mom's worry. Story at 11! What I didn't realize is that the worry is CONSTANT. I even figured out a way to worry in my sleep, if that's possible. It's when I'm holding him, when he's napping, and when someone else has him. I worry about him bothering other people when he's fussy, and I worry about why he's fussy. Spitting up too much, not enough poops today, his head is too flat. Daycare, crawling, sticking his finger in a socket. First day of school, teen bullying, can't afford college. Anything, everything, and all at once. The best thing to do is to not stifle the worry, yet don't let it become all-consuming. Acknowledge it, accept it, and move on. And if it gets too much just punch it in the face. BAM!
- The laundry
I'm a freak of nature and actually enjoy doing laundry. I find it relaxing. That hasn't changed. But the drastic increase in volume is shocking, and the fact that it's caused by the addition of one tiny person to a household. Pre-baby, I would do 2-3 loads of laundry once every week or two. Nowadays I do about 3-5 loads every few days. It's due to the variety of baby fluids that we're all swimming in, and my newfound obsessive need to remove any dust and cat hair from all linens. Cuz OMG baby's hand is slightly reddish, it's a rash, he just touched that blanket, WASH IT! (See also: The worry)
- The importance of naps
I've finally sorta figured out Des's nap routine (which will now change tomorrow, I'm sure). They say for the first 4 months or so, they don't really have schedules. But Des is a great sleeper at night and has a pretty consistent nap schedule during the day. Unfortunately this week he developed a slight cough that was making it hard for him to stay asleep. So he kept missing or cutting short his long nap. Which made the rest of the day a nightmare for both of us. He wanted to be held constantly, so I paced the house carrying this 15 pound whining, whimpering mush in my arms for hours. As a result, I have scheduled a massage for this weekend. Momma needs it! And Desi needs his naps. Lesson learned.
- The love
The first few weeks I was in shock at this little squirmy, squeeling alien that appeared. I loved him to pieces, but it was a survival mission at that point. I don't know exactly when it happened, but now I can't stop kissing every inch of him. Tony pretends to speak for him, "Moooom, stoooop you're embarrassing meeee." But I can't help it. All his squeeks and smells and fluids... I can't get enough. He's like a drug. And then there's the smiles and coos... Ugh, my heart can't take it. It's all Desmond, my life, my love.
I don't even care how unflattering this photo of me is, that's how much I love him.
Note: Another Braintree baby is on the way! Congratulations to our friends Jeannie and Chris who are expecting their first in October! So so excited for you guys. :-)