One Month

Our baby is one month old.

I can't believe how fast the time has flown, and yet it seems as if he has always been here. Life before Desmond is hard to imagine. What did we do with all that time on our hands? Ha!

I'm not going to lie, the first couple of weeks were rough. Going from sleeping 10-11 hours straight a night (thank you, pregnancy) to sleeping in 2-hour intervals randomly throughout the day was an Adjustment of Epic Proportions. Sleep deprivation will mess with you. This is why you need a partner when you have a baby. So that when you wake up in a panic mumbling "The baby's on the bed.. The baby's on the bed!" when he's really sound asleep in the bassinet, your partner can calmly assure you that it's just a wrinkled up sweatshirt, not the baby.

The healing process for me was unexpectedly brutal. Do people not share this information on purpose? Or do they just forget? Maybe they push it out of their minds like images of war, which is what I'm trying to do. I won't go into too much detail. I'll try to put it in a series of single words... Soreness. Blood. Stitches. Swelling. Hemorrhoids. Disposable underwear. Okay, so that last one was 2 words. But you get the idea. For two weeks it hurt to sit, to stand, to walk, to move, to be still, etc. Basically, pushing an 8 lb. 10 oz. beast out of you really effs up your nether regions. But after a month I am feeling almost 100% better in that respect. Thank the lawd.

And still the most challenging hurdle of all... Breastfeeding. I'm sorry to have to describe it as a challenge, as it's supposed to be this beautiful, natural, bonding experience for mother and child. But the word 'hurdle' is a gentle way of putting my experience. I could write a whole big long entry on this topic, but I'll just do another series of single words... Pain. Sores. Scabs. Engorgement. Infection. Tears. Frustration. But almost 5 weeks in, Des and I have a nice little rhythm going. The pain is almost totally gone, my supply has regulated, and I can almost say that breastfeeding is enjoyable now. Almost. Give us another week or two and I'm sure we'll get there. A few weeks ago I was at such a low point with breastfeeding, I almost gave up. I'm so happy that I didn't.

Tony was able to take a full 3 weeks off, which was amazing. We are such a good team. I always knew he'd be a great dad, but to see it in action is so beautiful. I think Tony's bond with Desmond may have been initially stronger than mine. With the previously mentioned challenges I was going through, Tony shouldered a lot of the load with diapers and rocking and helping out in any way he could. Of course now we both can't get enough of the little guy. Tony's back to work and he misses him so much. I constantly send him photos and updates. And when daddy gets home, he scoops Des up and takes over with such joy it brings tears to my eyes.

I don't even want to think about going back to work at this point. I am just truly enjoying these days, soaking in every moment I get to be home with our baby.

Our Baby Story

I always love hearing labor and delivery stories. No matter how many episodes of a Baby Story you watch, you just never know what to expect. Like I approach most things in life, I went in with a vague idea of how it might go, knowing all the possibilities but keeping an open mind.

Thursday morning I noticed some cramps and typical aches and pains. At this point I was 4 days overdue. Aches and pains, as well as frustration and exhaustion, were a daily issue. So I didn't give it too much thought.

I went to work as usual. The cramps/aches/pains were coming and going, but nothing consistent or alarming. I didn't know what contractions were supposed to feel like. So I convinced myself these were not them and started timing them anyway. They started at around 12-15 minutes apart at 8am then got closer throughout the day. But I was still able to work and walk around and talk, which further convinced me it wasn't real.

I got home at the usual time, called the doctor and told him "I think something might be happening but I dunno. Just gonna wait it out a while." I didn't want to be one of those people who was sent home or labored in the hospital for dozens of hours. I preferred to go through as much as possible at home, where I was comfortable. I called my mom to give her the heads up, but told her it might be a while. She warned me that even the first baby can happen fast, so I should be careful. She almost had my sister in the car! Always listen to your mom, kids. Lesson learned... again.

Tony and I made a nice dinner of baked ziti, and never got to eat it. Cuz by around 6pm it was time to go. And I figured my doctor and nurses wouldn't want to see baked ziti vomit in the delivery room floor. If this was really it, I mean. Still unconvinced.

The ride to the hospital was rough. Contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart, although they seemed to be right on top of eachother. Tony did his best to avoid bumps and I kept breathing. Not sure if you've heard this, but contractions HURT. By the time we got to the hospital and the doctor checked me, I was 3 cms dilated. Oh, so I'm not being sent home? This is really happening? Wait, no. I changed my mind! Toooo late.

Details are a little hazy at this point. Things happened FAST. I got an epidural not long after we arrived. But it didn't work at first. Did you know that sometimes they don't work? Things they don't tell you. I spent another hour or two feeling ev-ry-thing... except my feet. Not helpful. The doctor checked me again and I was 5 cms. The epidural doc finally came back in and upped the dosage. Now I couldn't feel eh-ny-thing. Total numbness. Ahh.. that was nice.

An hour later, I was 10 cms and ready to push. Uhhh.. what?! It was 10:30pm. We had been there about 3 1/2 hours. The people in the room next to us had been there since 7am that morning and weren't 10 cms yet. I was all, guys you're doing it wrong. I am so much better at this than you!





I pushed through total numbness. Like when you get novacaine at the dentist and they ask you to spit water and it gets all over you. Except waaaay different. Cuz I was trying to spit out a baby. And I couldn't feel a damn thing. I had no idea if I was making any progress. Tony and the nurse coached me through and assured me I was doing great. Thank god for them. I even turned to Tony a few times when the nurse stepped away, asking him if they were just bullshitting me. He kissed me on the forehead and reassured me again. Love of my life, that man.

It was such a relaxed, calm environment. Not like in the movies. I wasn't freaking out or sweating or biting on a stick (can't speak for Tony though), I was just kinda doing it.

And then he was there. 12:08am. Our baby Des. They put him on my chest and I couldn't get over how much dark hair he had! Where did that come from?? Des was screaming and grabbed my finger right away. Quite a grip, my strong boy. Me and Tony and the baby were in our own little world. Laughing and crying and giggling. The doctor still had some work to do on me (epidurals, they are good when they finally work). Nurses were around doing their thing. I have no idea. They let me hold my baby there for a long while, Tony cut the cord. It was amazing. The doctor guessed the weight was 7 lbs 4 oz. Wrong! 8 lbs 10 oz. And I felt every one of them. Still do. Ow.

Now we're a new family. A tired, sore, happy family. I am still recovering phsyically (seriously, ow), and mentally drained. But wow. What an experience. What a life I have. If only everyone could be so lucky.

He's here!

Desmond Jack Cawley Salamone
Born 1/15/10 at 12:08am
8 lbs 10 oz, 21 inches long







The labor and delivery was surprisingly quick. I'll post a more detailed account in the next entry. Recovery has been difficult. And this past week with our baby has been the most challenging, rewarding, surreal, incredible of our lives. Tony and I look at eachother sometimes and can't believe we get to keep this little guy. And we can't believe how goshdarn CUTE he is!

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


He is such a good baby. He sleeps a lot, he pees and poops a lot, he cries when he needs something. He is perfection. We're still trying to get our act together as parents, but every day gets a little better.

I am enjoying every second of this time. People say it goes by so fast. And while a part of me can't wait for Des to smile and giggle and walk and all that, I'm loving him as he is now. A tiny mush of pure love and joy. And poop. Oh, so much poop.

We love you so much, Desi boy. You are our sunshine. :-)

Still Here

Hi. No baby yet. 12 days until the estimated due date. And not a peep. Everything is tight as a drum and baby boy is partying it up like it's NYE every night in there.

Here's me, Giganto, on Christmas day:


He's probably afraid to come out. With all the drama over these past 9 months, from seizures and hospital stays, to medications and memory loss, to falls and broken bones... who can blame him. I'd want to stay in that protective cocoon too! Whenever you're ready, buddy. We'll be waiting as patiently as possible.

Christmas was lovely this year. Although I wasn't feeling my best, we hosted Christmas Eve at our house with the help of everyone in Tony's fam. It was our first Christmas in the 'new' house. If I wasn't so tired I would have decorated more, but it was just enough and looked nice. I spent most of the evening on the couch. The stress of the holidays and everything going on had caused my legs/ankles/feet to swell up to a disgusting degree. Pregnancy! Yay! But other than that, everyone seemed to have a great time.











Tony and I spent Christmas morning relaxing on our last holiday as a family of two. We treated ourselves to a new DSLR camera, which takes some amazing photos, although we're still learning!





The day was spent in Braintree with the Cawley clan, as is tradition. Despite being exhausted from the night before, I had a fantastic time with the fam. Even treated myself to a glass of red wine. Merry Christmas to me!













Leaving Braintree was strange. It hit me then that the next time I see most of these people, the people that I love most in the world, we are going to have a little baby with us. Everyone was wishing us luck, giving us advice and kisses and hugs, asking us to call, etc. It was just surreal.

I am so excited for next year! :-)

Slow progress, shower, and holiday traditions

Today marks 36 weeks of pregnancy. On one hand it seems like time is finally flying, and on the other hand... good lawd, this gestating thing takes for-evv-errr.

Say it, Squints.

At this point, every day is a little more uncomfortable than the one before. Which makes me nervous for the weeks to come. But the craziness of everything going on lately will hopefully make it go by quickly.


35 weeks


36 weeks

In the midst of all the craziness, our families threw us a beautiful baby shower and we are so grateful for all the work that went into it, as well as all the amazing gifts!






I didn't get many photos, as I was too busy stuffing my swolen face with delicious food and tallying up our loot. Class-ay.

Now that we're heading in to the home stretch, nights and weekends are mostly spent getting ready for baby. I've come to the conclusion that not everything has to be be D-U-N DONE RIGHT NOW OMG BABY'S COMING QUICK FREAK OUT!! As long as we have all the essentials ready, which we pretty much do, everything will be fiiiine. But sometimes the panic sets in and I get all crazy irrational (i.e., pregnant) and something might be chucked in the trash or bitten off at the neck. (Sorry Tone. Luvs ya.)

That this is one of the busiest times of the year, both at work and at home, adds a bit to the stress. Lots and lots of holiday parties, birthday celebrations, dinners, showers, doctor appointments... all in between work (which is nutso) and sleep. And taking a few breaths here and there.

Speaking of holiday parties, it's a Cawley family tradition to hold Christmas a few weeks early for the siblings and all our kids. It helps to make Christmas day not so CRAZY with the whole family around. It's typically held at my mom's house in Marshfield, but my sister Maureen stepped up and offered her house when mom caught The Bug a few days prior. No matter where it's held, it's always a great time. The kids love it, and us big kids love it too.






Crazy to think that next year there will be another little boy in the mix!

How many times did I use the word 'crazy' in this entry? Tons. That's about right.

Oh, we're also hosting Christmas Eve with Tony's fam this year. I'll be 38 weeks pregnant. Should I use that word again? I think I should... CRAZY.

Happy holidays!

Long awaited update

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It seems that every year we have more and more for which to be thankful. This year is above and beyond the norm. Not to get all corny, but we've been through a lot recently and it's made us realize how lucky we are. As Tony put it so simply lastnight, "I like my life."

So in honor of the holiday, and in a lame attempt to summarize what's been going on with us over the past month and a half, here is what we are especially thankful for:

1. Tony turning 30 and all of the friends and family who helped us celebrate:


It was our first real party in the new house, and I was so preoccupied with being the hostess that I got very few pictures. But I assure you, it looked beautiful. Tony had a slide show of 'before' pictures looping on the TV and it helped to show everyone the amount of work that has gone into our home over the past 10 months. So many compliments for us and the boys at Choice Woodworking, Inc. And the party was a great time also. We fit about 50 people into our open and airy space. We couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in Tony's 30th year. And I am eternally grateful for everyone who helped me out before/during/after the party, as I wasn't exactly in top form in my delicate state.

2. The growing Butterball basting in my bellah:




I am almost 34 weeks at this point and it's absolutely surreal. I can't say it's been an easy road, but we're headed into the home stretch now and I'm feeling pretty good. We're not nervous yet, just excited and anxious. We want to meet our little man! As they say on St. John, baby soon come. :-)

3. Having such a big amazing family with lots of kids, and reaping the benefits!
This will be grandchild #9 for my mom and Tony's family has a couple little ones as well, so we've been lucky enough to be given many hand-me-downs... Furniture, decor, clothes (for me AND the baby), etc. We're not ones to need everything to be new and fresh. In fact, I kinda like the idea of using items that have been lived in and passed down with our families. We're still working on getting the nursery together. Once we do we'll post plenty of photos for the ol' blogosphere.

4. And lastly, we are thankful for the 15 years and hundreds of memories with our beloved Barkley, who went up to doggy heaven just last week.

He was a good dog, our best friend and first 'baby.' We miss him terribly... the house doesn't feel the same without him in it. But it was almost like he wanted to give us time to get ready for our human baby. So thanks, buddy. For all the happy times and for making us learn to work as a team when things got tough toward the end. Hopefully we're a little more prepared for this time in our lives because we were lucky enough to take care of you.

So have a great holiday everyone. Remember to tell those around you how much you love them, even your pets. And thanks to all for reading! We'll try to be better with the updates.

Stairway and Artwork

We've slowly been checking projects off of our list. Sometimes things get started, half-way done, and then left for a while. Life gets in the way.

A big one that we touched upon in a previous entry is the new stairway built by the boys of Choice Woodworking. Everything is brand new, from the treads to the risers to the railings, etc. Nick and Paul stained the treads and railings dark to match the wood floors upstairs. And everything else is a crisp white.

The boys finished their beautiful handy-work a while ago, but Tony still had to do some touch-ups on the white paint. So it only recently became officially completed. Here is the finished product:

So preeeeetty.

Although I can't seem to find a proper 'before' photo, here is the old stairway mid-demolition:

Dirty white paint and a blue carpet on the treads and risers. They had seen better days, obviously.

The crafstmanship is admired by all who see the new stairs... including by Nick and Paul themselves who are over all the time anyway. ;-)

A more minor project we've been gradually catching up with is hanging stuff up on the walls. We have so many random mis-matched frames and mirrors, it's hard to make sense of everything. So I tend to overthink where pictures should be hung, therefore leaving blank walls throughout the house. But here's one spot that's done:

Dining room. Photos of our trip out to the Southwest.

An obvious choice for the bathroom... photo to be hung on the wall. We purchased this at an auction, piece by the one and only Jenny.

We also put a mirror up in our entry way, which looks decent. So many more to go.

And here's some progress on the biggest project in our lives, Project Baby:

25 weeks

26 weeks

Getting there!